DEAD DOGS DREAMING – 4 March 2009

DDD was an early scratching from this week’s game – a more important event on the Adelaide Cup weekend saw him in the trainer’s hands yet again, with talks of an overuse injury threatening his future career. It was DDD senior who was given the opportunity to replace him in the team.

At this point, Andy Zee was suffering conniptions as he looked into the future and he saw it was grey, and the prospect of getting some order from 3 senior members filled him with dismay. It was therefore with mixed feelings that he took the call from D-Mac who also ruled himself unfit for the night.

A ring around to the Dynamic Duo saw Magic Mike eager to assist with Tracy content to play a support act, so our foursome was complete.

There was concern in the opening gambits that the other team was prepared to play dirty, when LOL showing some form in the warm up was offered the Double Scotch. This lady was not for turning, as she knew that to appear squiffy would seriously undermine the confidence of her fellow teammates.

The same could not be said for the opposition, who approached the social side of the game with some savoir-faire, appearing with the wine tray, the glasses and the bottle of red. This did not translate well in to their on field performance – if they were not “Aarrgh” at the beginning of the game they certainly were at the end!

Yes, Dear Reader, your team has done it again, and for the accountants amongst up minded, I again lay before you a beautiful set of numbers.



You may be wondering how this motley crew did it, considering the inexperience of some of the members, and in all honesty – it wasn’t pretty.

The win on the toss saw us unprepared, and we lay down on the first 3 ends like a pack of Dead Dogs.

Andy Zee did his best by being absent from his post for the first half of the game – the networking, the trip to the bar, the food – all claimed his attention, and considering our early performance, who could blame him? Then something clicked – it could have been the right knee of the Replacement Senior Member (RSM), or maybe the rosy glow of the bottle of red had taken its toll on our worthy opposition. Perhaps their skipper was just jacked off at having to buy his own pints – the camaraderie was all down the other end: but then the turn around with 4 bowls outclassing their best.

This stung them into action, responding with a 3, but as it turned out, this was the high point of their game.


For the out-of-towners, Adelaide had taken a bucketing during the week (OK just the 1 bucket – enough for us all to have a decent wash). This was a mild evening with the green showing some inconsistency in taking the bias.

We bowled long, we bowled short, and we bowled wide, but we always outclassed them - just. They did have their chances though. At the eighth, we were 3 down with a close pack of enemy bowls around kitty. Andy Zee’s first delivery saw him weave a tight line through the defences, but a metre well short. The opposition skipper, sensing an exposed jugular came in from the other side to leave his bowl in contention. AZ’s last delivery was so unexpected that the rest of the team did not realise what had happened: following the line of his first, he cunningly gave it enough biff and at the right angle to cannonball through and cosy up to kitty giving us the end.

We cheered – they didn’t. They were already into hangover territory.

LOL made a late entry into the game from a very ordinary start, and was able to assist her teammates in wiping up the last few ends.

Magic Mike having been given the whisper earlier that it was lawn bowls we were playing, not marbles, wisely chose something more substantial to get his hands around. This together with encouragement from his entourage gave him success on several ends when the going was tough for us.

The RSM led the charge back into the game at the 4th and gave a solid performance all evening.

Magic Mike again proved lucky with the raffle, taking home the street directory, but there was a protest call on the night, with allegations of rigging when 1 table cleared up 4 prizes.

NOTE OF WARNING: Andy Zee has left DDD in an invidious position by withdrawing from the weekend Pro-Am competition and folking off to Port Fairy.

Rumours of an impending alliance with a member of The Bowls Bags, has shocked the Dead Dogs team to the core. We may be a mongrel breed, but there are some unspoken boundaries beyond which a DD will not go!